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Is There Still Sex In The City? by Candace Bushnell is an exploration of love, lust, and digital dating after 50. How should older women, and men for that matter, navigate single life in a world that has vastly changed since they last dated. As more and more couples split, especially later on in life, Bushnell asks the question is there still love in the city, rather than sex.
Bushnell explores different dating apps like Tinder which, I will have to agree with her, is mainly about dick-pics and BJs. She also touches upon things like cougars and cubbing where older women date younger men. Lastly, she also touches upon the desirability of older women and the lengths women go to preserve their youth, ergo sex appeal.
We live most of our lives online now and with that comes a distance that we cannot overcome in the real world. Meeting people at bars doesn’t really happen anymore. Rather someone will stalk you online three days later then maybe like some of your photos as a way to let you know they are interested. Heaven forbid if people just spoke to one-another. Similarly, if you do find someone online you connect with, the question that more and more women are asking now is, what can I get out of this relationship? Rather than the sexist and outdated question of, what can I do for my man in this relationship?
I would have loved to see Bushnell talk more about LGBTQIA+ relationships in her book, but I also feel that the lack of this also reflects the social groups in which the author moves. Similarly, we don’t really get a perspective on interracial dating or dating with little to no money.
At times it is hard to feel sympathy for the women Bushnell’s talks about in her book because they have bank accounts most people can’t fathom. It feels, at times, like what some might call first-world problems. Yet, putting that aside, there are some real and raw emotions brought up in Bushnell’s work. While a lot of it is talking about exuberantly priced face creams, there are some real heartbreaking moments like when Marilyn takes her own life. On the surface, she had it all. Like many of the women in Bushnell’s book, she had a roof over her head, more money than she really, and generally an amazing life in New York. Yet, ill mental health does not care too much for such things and comes and goes and takes what it likes whenever it feels like it.
All things aside this book was an okay book to while away an afternoon. If you don’t dig too deep it can even make you laugh. As always, share the reading love.
NOTE: This novel was was accessed through Netgalley and Grove Press for review purposes.
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