There is nothing more alluring than the daydream of disappearing from your life completely and being in a place and space where you feel like you have control over your identity and life again. The nameless protagonist of Miranda July’s latest novel, All Fours, organises a road trip to New York from L.A. She tells her husband and her sweet child that she will be travelling there for work and will be back several weeks later. She barely makes it out of her own suburb before she decides to stay in a random motel about 30 30-minute drive from her home. The idea of leaving everything, disappearing and having time to yourself is something I dream about a lot. What would I do if I could just step out of my life and do something completely different? It was this idea of radical autonomy that hooked me on July’s novel.

The quasi-celebrity main character feels like she is at a crisis point. She is in her mid-40s and fears that the end is nigh – the end of what; she isn’t quite sure. She feels restless and hopeful as she plays between the liminal reaches of this slow disappearing act. She falls in lust with a young dancer – and her crush turns (almost) obsessive. Her relationship with Davey is complicated, yet I feel is very genuine. It is also extremely cringy as the main character almost melts into a school-girl-like infatuation. Yet, I love the celebration of this cringe. For too long, women have been told to have certain desires and dreams only at certain stages in their lives. Yet, we know that this simply isn’t true of what women actually experience – of course, they have crushes, even when they are married. Of course, they have sexuality and desires long after they go through menopause. Of course, they have desires and dreams that shift and change like a vast and expansive ocean. And July is able to capture this in such a beautiful way.

Cringe culture – the idea that certain practices, beliefs, and/or ideas are embarrassing and worthy of mockery is a culture that also forces us to police ourselves. I cannot be cringe if I mock those who are. Avoiding cringe is about being hypervigilant about how the world sees and perceives you. It means you must constantly check yourself against an exhaustive and constantly changing list of culturally acceptable practices. Yet, you can never outrun cringe. I guarantee you that the kids making TikTok dances today will want to vomit up their entire insides when they rewatch those videos in 10 years’ time. Not because their dances are bad – but because cringe will creep up on them. Just like it creeps up on everyone. Trends are fleeting and changing with the shifts of cultural tides – but cringe is forever, baby.

I love that July’s book celebrates this character’s complex desires and pursuits. I love how she grapples with her life, choices, and past traumas and never really settles. Whether it’s dancing in the moonlight with your shirt tucked into your underwear, or spending 20,000 dollars decorating a motel room you don’t even own. She is completely unhinged and yet, so very relatable. I cannot wait to read more of July’s writings and I hope you take this as a sign to celebrate all that is cringe in your life and own it!

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