“If you want to be a writer, then just do it.”
Someone told me that one afternoon as we discussed life goals as though that simple straight forward idea hadn’t actually come to my mind before. Silly me for not executing this idea before. My world constantly teeters on the edge of collapsing in on itself as I see friends and family around me succeed in their chosen fields, some of them fellow writers, and I am constantly left asking myself, “Why write?” In particular, “Why write when no one cares?”
I guess for this to be an uplifting article I would need to turn it around by pulling out some wise quotes about perseverance, self-love, never-give-up motivational posts with mountains and sunshine in the background. But that would be pretending that everything feels fine, when it doesn’t feel fine.
If you read my blog you know that I am an advocate for feeling your pain when it comes to you. We live in a world afraid of feeling anything but happiness. Media, family, friends, life constantly tells us: if you’re not on the verge of deliriousness from how #blessed you are, then you should just hide yourself away until that horrible unnatural feeling of sadness passes. However, since this is my own blog, I can say what I want. Sometimes I don’t know why I write. Why I bother putting any ideas to paper (or in this case, to screen).
Struggling to find meaning in the everyday can be exhausting. And I guess the only positive thing I can say is: it’s okay to feel bad when things aren’t going right. You don’t need to be happy 24/7. If you feel that these emotions become too overwhelming, make sure you speak to someone. And if that person tells you first world problems, just get over it, stop being so sad, then walk away and find someone who will understand you. You’re allowed to feel broken, let down, cheated, exhausted, hopeless. I often wonder if the main problem is not our negative emotions, but the fact that we suppress them so much.
So to the question: why write? Well, today I really have no answer.