The title of this post comes from the very popular book and movie, The Fault in our Stars. It’s been popping up all over my social media feeds for a very long time now and there are so many people talking about it. I’ve been told by people that I have to read the book, not just because of it’s literary merit, but because I would also be able to relate to losing someone to cancer. But I just can’t pick up the book. I can’t even look at the cover or read the reviews. It’s too close to home. I don’t even want to know the storyline. And I don’t want to see the movie.
And to be honest, those kinds of feelings can come up with most references about cancer whether they be books, articles, news reports, etc.. Getting the C-bomb dropped on you out of the blue, is akin to having a bucket of icy-cold water thrown at you followed by a frying-pan to the face. And I wish I could say I was over it. I wish I wasn’t so sensitive to that word, to the weight that it presses on my chest when I hear it. I wish I could replace every memory of cancer with memories of hope and health. But it doesn’t work like that.
My father died of cancer. He was my best friend. And I struggle living without him.
So, my advice: when you think about recommending a book like The Fault in our Stars to someone who has gone through losing someone to cancer, don’t. Let them find the book themselves, through their own journey. When they’re ready. I know you’re being kind and genuinely thoughtful, but I don’t need a bucket of ice-water today.